Is it me or is anyone else totally bummed by the fact ABC is sacking All My Children and One Life to Live, after 41+ years? I grew up with Erica Kane and now they are ripping her from my life like yesterday's garbage for "financial reasons"! Do they expect us to believe the 20 commercials every 10 minutes cant support the show? Its probably more like those greedy executive mouseketeers at Disney want even more money. Pretty tacky if you ask me. In fact, its an outrage! I'll admit I do not watch every day but I tape both of those shows and watch enough every week to at least know who Erica is sleeping with/marrying/divorcing and if she is in jail/rehab/pregnant/kidnapped/on the lamb, etc. All My Children is the best legal distraction from everyday life there could possibly be!
And One Life to Live, too! Just when I had finally gotten to the point where I could tolerate watching that greasy haired detective, John McBain without wanting to drag him off to a barber shop, poof, no more Landview and no more Pine Valley.
I hear they are going to be replaced by 2 new shows; "The Chew" and "The Revolution". The "Chew"? Really? Is it going to be like "The View" only with food? I figure they are going to have several robust women wearing polyester (for its forgiving nature), plopped in recliners around a table eating turkey legs and Cheetos, swigging Cokes and critiquing food. The "Revolution" is touted as being a make-over show, though I don't have a clue what exactly it is they propose to make-over, but I can tell you that I for one, will not be watching another make-over show much less a food show that's not on Bravo or the food network. Who is Disney kidding? For crying out loud, its going to take more than a tuna noodle casserole and a new nose or hair-do to replace Vicki/Niki Smith and Jessica/Tess, the mother daughter multiple personality characters on OLTL. Not to mention Dorian and David, my very favorite over the top daytime stars!
Does ABC really believe that we need more of their dumbed down shows to get us primed for their main afternoon attraction; that swarthy Middle Eastern doctor who talks to us like we are all imbeciles. I guess you can tell I don't much care for Dr. Oz. I know millions of women adore him but personally, I find him to be a little too familiar with the women he calls down from the studio audience. Why, he acts more like a game show host than a medical doctor. He must have studied Bob Barker's shtick on The Price Is Right, with his; "Janey Smith come on down, put on this lab coat and be my assistant". After squeals of delight, a full frontal hug complete with hopping and a little inappropriate groping he says "Now Janey tell me your most embarrassing problem!" He is practically drooling and rubbing his hands together with anticipation at this point. After she blushes and reveals her problem, Dr. Oz suddenly whips a sheet off gigantic plastic private parts (that up to about 15 years ago remained a mystery and if you ask me, should STILL be). Janey's "problem" is lit up, diagrammed and automated on a screen behind her, as big as a drive-in movie! Janey and her nether region are now famous!
Then he calls another victim/assistant down, hugs, gropes and dresses her in a lab coat, too. She must reveal her most embarrassing problem to the world, though its much less embarrassing than Janey's. Then they have a contest, complete with a buzzer to see which one of them can guess the cure correctly! Whoever wins gets a big white wicker basket filled with a years supply of Doctor Oz's very own fish oil pills and laxatives, all tied up with a big blue ribbon! They squeal with delight as if he has given them an Amana Radar Range, for crying out loud! Unbelievable! He does all this while wearing ill fitting surgical scrubs. They are so snug I could swear his business jumped up and said "howdy do" to one rather attractive victim/assistant.
I really tried to like his show. After all, he keeps saying he is trying to "empower" us with important information about our bodies and I do so love to learn. But no, try as I might, I just do not care for this man. He strikes me as a slightly more educated carny hawker. And to be even bolder, I dare say if he took such liberties with me, I'm afraid I might be forced to hoist up one of his big plastic organs and smack him upside the head with it.
Call me provincial but I do not care to know all about the body's inner workings. If I wanted to, I would have gone to medical school. These TV people have gone too far! Why do we suddenly feel the need to know what everything looks like up close and what it does and what we need to do if it doesn't? Silly me thought that's what doctors are for, or Web M.D. Mercy goodness, am I alone in not wanting to hear all about "E.D."? Why, nowadays I hesitate to paint a room out of fear that creepy music will start up and before I know it I'll be sitting side by side in a bathtub somewhere with a handsome middle-aged man of undetermined race!
Where is the mystery? I hold Okra Winfrey personally responsible for this unleashing of knowledge. She took it upon herself to educate ALL of us not only on our bodies but our husband's as well. And why she chose this swarthy Middle Eastern doctor to do it is beyond me. Marcus Welby was more my speed.
Daytime Dramas and Dr. Strangelove
Monday, April 18, 2011
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