Its my birthday. There I've said it. Another year older and .... what? I hafta say I really expected to be a whole lot smarter by now; I mean, if its gonna happen it probably would have by now, right? So, for starters, thats a major disappointment. About 15 years ago I remember telling my aunt and uncle that I was somewhat unnerved to find people of my parent's generation no smarter than me! I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings and I dont think I did, but still, I just sorta assumed that by the age of 40 I would have more answers to life's questions than I had. And, when I asked people who I just knew HAD the brilliant answers I was looking for, well, their answers were worse than practically anything I could come up with on my own. I cant tell you what a let down that was. That leaves me no choice other than to continue careening out of control down the highway of life like I've been doing for 55 years now. Oh well, its been a good ride so far!

There are several other things I guess I better come to terms with, too, while Im at it. I reckon I can forget about losing those ten pounds I have been "meanin" to lose for several years now. I know my occasional addiction to Cheetos and Arnold Palmers probably isn't helping any in that department. Ten pounds doesn't sound like it would be that difficult but mercy goodness, they are stuck to me like glue. Besides I either saw on TV or read somewhere that at my age I have a better chance of being struck by lightening or winning the lottery than I do of either losing ten pounds or finding a man or some such thing.

But just the other day, Dr. Oz (who we never watch but just happened to have the TV on at the right time) was doing an entire show on women who think they are fat and wont take their clothes off in front of their husbands. Can you believe an entire show devoted to this? He was trying his darnedest to get these ladies to feel good about taking off their clothes and scampering around the house! Why, Dr. Oz even went so far as to show the entire studio audience a poll they randomly took of men choosing silhouettes of body types they found most appealing and wouldn't you know most all the men chose the curvier silhouettes. This was music to my ears! Im gonna eat my birthday cake and enjoy every bite. Im not so sure that the results of this random poll made those ladies eager to take their clothes off though, which was his intended goal, so he took his off instead! You know that Dr. Oz is always just itchin to drop the laundry. It was the "game show" part where he picks 2 of the squealingest ladies from the audience to play. If they answered the questions right they got to tell Dr. Oz what to take off! He ended up standing there in his skivvies and T-shirt for crying out loud, just as happy as a duck on a June bug!