While pulling on my old, soft, friendly denim capris that I practically lived in last summer, I couldn't help but notice they seemed to be fighting back! "Couldn't help but notice" is a slight understatement. It was a downright struggle to get the darn things buttoned and while zipping them, my voice actually changed a few octaves! What in the world happened? I cant imagine, especially since I have lost a few pounds. Yikes! My khakis fit (or rather didn't fit) in exactly the same way! They were loose the last time I wore them!
This must be the cruel trick of nature I have heard about. Fat in transit; its anybody's guess where it might show up next or how long it might stay in any particular location. Its enough to make you crazy and it really wreaks havoc with one's self-confidence and you can forget about trying to buy something for a future special occasion. Im thinking this phenomenon can strike at any given time and totally without notice! Why, one might very well might be all dressed up enjoying an evening wearing something slinky only to find at some point during the evening you have morphed into one of those twisted balloon animals you see at children's parties!
But I digress. It occurred to me while rifling through hangars that perhaps it was a good time to retire some leather. Not that I have a biker's wardrobe or anything but over the years I have acquired a few choice pieces and really enjoyed wearing them. I have some older brown suede jeans, purchased after losing the baby weight from Rhys. So, lets see, that makes them, hmmmmm, 24 years old! Gosh, do they qualify for "vintage"? Yep, I think its time they find another home or perhaps they would make a lovely purse or chaps? Its sad though because I really love those pants. Even if the last time I wore them, they had mysteriously gotten shorter and a little baggy in the thighs and lets face it, they seemed to fit tighter in the waist, too.
My black leather pants suffer the same malady even though they are relatively new, just 12 years old. I was never very fond of them but wear them at least once every winter. One reason; they are "low-rise" which means wearing a long top is imperative lest I embarrass myself in public. Why, its Oprah's fault I have them in the first place! She convinced me to try a pair when those British gals on her show promised they would make us all look younger, thinner and longer waisted. In hindsight (both literally and figuratively), Oprah and I should have never listened. 'Low-rise' is 'code' for 'feeling like your pants are sliding off your hind end' and finding they very well might be! Those darn pants; just about every time I sat down they would unsnap, making a rather loud popping noise, difficult to ignore. Now wouldn't it just make sense if you are designing low-rise pants that are going to be at the mercy of hip jiggle you might need a sturdier fastener, like some sort of industrial but decorative clamp? I know what you are thinking but If they didn't want women with hip jiggle to wear them they shouldn't make them in sizes bigger than a 6. Im just saying.... Yes, Im adding those black leather pants to the pile.
The black leather mini-skirt Im ambivalent about. While it has gotten a tad shorter the past few years, my legs seem to have gotten a little thinner so maybe it all works somehow. Maybe there is a slight dumplin silouette going on, but if I stand side-ways and hold my arms up over my head I still look pretty darn good. Most importantly, Gary likes the skirt. Although, he did mention the last time I wore it that it seemed shorter. I just told him it was his imagination and that its a shorter style skirt for Pete's sake. I still like the way I feel in it, even though I recognize it might be less than 'appropriate'. I'll take an occasional wardrobe risk but I'd really like to find a style that makes me feel good and self-confident; perhaps something between sexpoodle and the Golden Girl look (floral print MuMu with orthopedic sandals). After all, I certainly dont want to be one of those middleaged women who doesn't seem to own a mirror. From what I can tell, there are quite few out there!
0 comments:
Post a Comment